Thursday, February 25, 2010

Appeals Court: Zombies Have Free Speech Rights

If corporations can have free speech rights, why can't zombies? That's basically the ruling given by an appeals court in Minneapolis, Minnesota on Wednesday.

The appeals court, a three-judge panel, overturned a lower court by a 2-1 vote in finding that the group of seven "zombies" had been wrongfully detained during a 2006 shopping mall protest against consumerism. The court ruled that Minneapolis police lacked probable cause to arrest the demonstrators for disorderly conduct.

The demonstrators were wearing makeup at the time that gave them a "Night of the Living dead" look (white face powder, fake blood, etc. etc.). They also tromped stiff-legged through the mall, as zombies are wont to do.

However, the panel did dismiss the zombie plaintiffs' claims of "First Amendment retaliation" and "false imprisonment." On the other hand, the ruling they made gives the protesters the right to revive their lawsuit against the city of Minneapolis and its police department. According to the Star Tribune paper the zombies are seeking damages of at least $50,000 per corpse arrested.

The panel said:
"An objectively reasonable person would not think probable cause exists under the Minnesota disorderly conduct statue to arrest a group of peaceful people for engaging in an artistic protest by playing music, broadcasting statements (and) dressing as zombies."
The reference to corporations above refers to the recent Supreme Court decision in which they gave corporations unfettered rights to throw as much money as they want toward an election. The fact that a WaPo poll shows bipartisan opposition to the decision (with 76 percent of conservatives against the ruling) shows that the five conservatives in the Supreme Court, who want to please their base, are probably saying "Oops."

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