Appeals Court: Zombies Have Free Speech Rights

If corporations can have free speech rights, why can't zombies? That's basically the ruling given by an appeals court in Minneapolis, Minnesota on Wednesday.

The appeals court, a three-judge panel, overturned a lower court by a 2-1 vote in finding that the group of seven "zombies" had been wrongfully detained during a 2006 shopping mall protest against consumerism. The court ruled that Minneapolis police lacked probable cause to arrest the demonstrators for disorderly conduct.

The demonstrators were wearing makeup at the time that gave them a "Night of the Living dead" look (white face powder, fake blood, etc. etc.). They also tromped stiff-legged through the mall, as zombies are wont to do.

However, the panel did dismiss the zombie plaintiffs' claims of "First Amendment retaliation" and "false imprisonment." On the other hand, the ruling they made gives the protesters the right to revive their lawsuit against the city of Minneapolis and its police department. According to the Star Tribune paper the zombies are seeking damages of at least $50,000 per corpse arrested.

The panel said:

"An objectively reasonable person would not think probable cause exists under the Minnesota disorderly conduct statue to arrest a group of peaceful people for engaging in an artistic protest by playing music, broadcasting statements (and) dressing as zombies."

The reference to corporations above refers to the recent Supreme Court decision in which they gave corporations unfettered rights to throw as much money as they want toward an election. The fact that a WaPo poll shows bipartisan opposition to the decision (with 76 percent of conservatives against the ruling) shows that the five conservatives in the Supreme Court, who want to please their base, are probably saying "Oops."

What's the Next Right-Wing Scare Tactic? Zombie Death Panels: Olbermann

On last night's Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Keith discussed a new talking point on health care reform: zombie scare tactics.

OLBERMANN: First it was the death panels, and then it was the death book, or, as it's also known, the Grim Reader. So it can only be a matter of time before Republicans bring us a new talking point on health care reform; Democrats will turn you and your loved ones into zombies. Our number one story, forget living wills, the GOP instead wants you to be scared of the living dead.

A new mathematical study could pave the way for future Republican scare tactics on health care, drawing parallel between zombie plagues and infectious diseases. Researchers in Canada have determined, quote, if zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilization, unless dealt with quickly and aggressively. Humanity's only hope, Dick Cheney.

Hit them, the undead, hard, and hit them often.

Already baiting a possible right wing feeding frenzy, New York Times columnist Paul Krugman; his latest op-ed titled All of the President's Zombies. Actually, the column had nothing to do with Republicans scaring everyone into thinking that Obama-care would lead to zombies, but why give Sarah Palin another article she could misrepresent on her Facebook page?

Meanwhile, the National Review sharing its reaction to the zombie study by passing along these pearls of wisdom, zombies are cool. It's just a fact.

And were these jokers European? Almost, they were Canadian.

Leave it to Boss Limbaugh to get everyone in line, a transcript titled, Democrats set up war rooms, website to instruct their zombies.

Limbaugh weighing in on President Obama's former campaign organization. It's the night of the living dead in the daytime. Obama zombies -- which is tough to say -- Obama Zombies marching around with little instructions and pamphlets, manuals.

It was a hilarious outing, actually, with Max Brooks, author of The Zombie Survival Guide, Recorded Attacks, due out in paperback on October 6th as a guest.

One other key point that Keith made, which points to a desire for zombie attacks by the right-wing. "Plus, if the zombies are looking for brains, they'll only eat the Democrats."

Watch the tongue-in-cheek segment: